Baptist explanation:
There
must be sin in your life. Everyone else opened it fine.
Presbyterian explanation:
It's
not God's will for you to open this link.
Word of Faith explanation:
You lack the faith to open this link. Your negative words have prevented
you from realizing this link's fulfillment.
Charismatic explanation:
Thou
art loosed! Be commanded to OPEN!
Unitarian explanation:
All
links are equal, so if this link doesn't work for you, feel free to
experiment with other links that might bring you joy and fulfillment.
Buddhist explanation:
.........................
Episcopalian explanation:
Are you saying you have something against homosexuals?
Christian Science explanation:
There
really is no link.
Atheist explanation:
The only
reason you think this link exists is because you needed to invent it.
Church counselor's explanation:
And what did you feel when the link would not open?
It hovers, it hums – but it is not a hummingbird. Take a look at one of, if not the most amazing, certainly the coolest insects on the planet - The Hummingbird Hawk Moth.
